Habit N#5 - Seek First to Understand Then to be Understood

Use empathic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, respect, and positive problem solving.

E.g. The story of monkey and fish. The monkey thought that the fish was trapped in the pond. Therefore to serve the fish, monkey started to dig the spillway without understanding that the pond will dry out and fish will die. The fish was in the right place.

Problems in communication

We were given a task to instruct another fellow to draw the following figure without looking each other:

No one drew it correctly. The following were the possible factors

There were no right words to express to the drawer
One way communication caused it difficult
Theory without actions
Time were not enough to express in advance

The same factors hinders our daily communication

Try to tell the other person to draw the same structure and see the results of communication

Secret of success

– Give complete information

– Use visual aids for people who cannot read

How do people communicate?

¨ 10% what people say is true

¨ 30% It sounds (kunong’ona)

¨ 60% body language (kiwiliwili)

¨ As a leader you need to listen to all, good customer is the one that is truly communicating. Most of the time sounds are gossip. Therefore listen from all sides

Basic facts in communication

Language used should be clearly understandable
A person can listen only 15 minutes attentively
When message is transferred from one person to another the content change. (Reported speech)
Technical language should be known by the listener otherwise use simple language

Mwisho (End):

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